The Personality Test

Written 1 December 2001

The personality test waits for an opening and pounces. The victim reacts in one of sixteen approved ways. The personality test has prepared for them all, though, and the victim is defeated.

The personality test turns up when most expected and when least expected. It is common for someone to ask after old friends, distant acquaintances, and ex-lovers only to learn that the personality test has taken them. People have accepted this. If you can't trust the personality test, what can you trust?

Different people see the personality test in different ways, but its appeal is universal. Scientists once studied it. They exposed the personality test to heavy metal, Mozart, christian rock, and the Ink Spots, first sequentially and then all at once. They put it in an isolation tank and also in an orgone box. The scientists have now been devoured and their bones lie scattered in the personality test's wake.


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