Movie Trailer

Written 13 July 2003

[The Earth as seen from space, except Australia is upside down.]

VOICEOVER:

In a world gone frighteningly sane ...

[Quickly ZOOM IN on upstate New York.]

VOICEOVER:

... in a suburb of Albany, a man from the future of the past must be prevented from changing the present into the future.

[CUT TO James "Kibo" Parry sitting under a tree, looking at the screen of his iBook. The Apple logo is prominently displayed.]

KIBO:

Ah, tj frazir, will you ever learn?

[He starts typing. Suddenly, a naked Gilbert Gottfried appears and extends his hand to Kibo.]

GOTTFRIED:

Come with me if you want to live.

[FX: GIANT DUST BUNNY]

VOICEOVER:

Meanwhile, in the future, robots from the past are sent to the present to bring about something. Wackiness ensues.

[Cut to DALEKS, led by ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER in a cylindrical wheelchair. He speaks through a vocoder with a German accent.]

ARNOLD:

YOU MUST EX-TER-MIN-ATE KIBO!

DALEKS:

We obey!

[As the DALEKS start to roll off aimlessly, a couple of them EXPLODE COLORFULLY for no apparent reason. While this happens:]

VOICEOVER:

Simultaneously, at the same time, ten minutes ago, members of a local high school have to prepare for the visit of a very special celebrity.

[Cut to French James Brown, a gold lamé beret on his head, dancing languidly on a stage.]

FRENCH JAMES BROWN:

Saut en arrière! Je veux m'embrasser!

[We hear FUNK MUSIC PLAYED ON AN ACCORDION. Cut to credits.]

VOICEOVER:

Terminator 4: And Then There Were Twelve. Coming soon to a theater near you.

This was something random written by Jacob Haller. To see another random thing, click here. To get a permanent link to this particular random thing, click here.


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