Written 20 June 1999
I wish I could commit the imperfect crime
So flawed I would always be caught.
I'd try to rob banks but not once make a dime
My exploits, they would all be for naught.
While others might think about all the details
I would plan quite impetuously;
I don't care for success, the amount that I fail
Is what makes me to chortle with glee.
While the cat burgler saunters along the rooftops
I'd be tripping alarms left and right;
Though you might think it foolish to attract the cops,
Just think if you will of the sight:
There'd be judges and lawyers and guards by the bus
To make sure that I wouldn't flee
It's amazing to think that there would be such a fuss
Over small insignificant me!
[cor anglais solo]
Though the tip of the top is amazingly great
I much prefer low of the low;
It's so random, this dislike of the second rate,
This preference for friend over foe.
So I wish that I'd commit the imperfect crime
And be captured, in chains in a cell;
But alas my desires are doomed to be stym-
ied; I just seem to plan them too well!