Eulogy for the Giant Killer Commie Robot
Written 30 May 2002
Alas! for the Giant Killer Commie Robot, struck down in its prime.
It never did anyone any harm, apart from the countless individuals it rendered into small bits at the behest of its communist masters, and even then, who among us can say we have not done something similar?
Its gleaming carapace lies bent and tattered on the ground.
All it ever wanted out of life was a bottle of Stolichnaya (the Barry White of vodka), a good musician joke, and the instant death of all capitalist stooges. Is that so wrong?
And yet it was silenced.
Persevere, o lifeless hulk of a once-noble and frightening mechanism. For one day there will come one who can reassemble your pincers and claws and hammers and sickles -- one who bears a wrench and the know-how with which to use it. And when that day comes you will once again stand strong and tall, ready to do your masters' bidding, be that world domination or a tango. Wait patiently, dear robot, for one day we shall meet again!
Is tomorrow good for you?