Cookie Recipe: A Random Jacob Haller Thing

Cookie Recipe

"clearly they are good; but could they have even been conceived by a mind that did not know the rich pleasure afforded only by what is evil?" -dhalgren

Wet ingredients:

2 sticks of butter
A little peanut butter
A little nutella. What could it hurt?
A handful of water.
2/3 cup brown sugar.
1/3 cup white sugar.
Two eggs.
A tablespoon of vanilla.

Dry ingredients:

2 cups flour.
A teaspoon of cinnamon.
A teaspoon of baking soda.
A teaspoon of salt.
A bag of chocolate chips.
A bag of something else, like say baking M&Ms, or peanut butter chips, or white chocolate, etc.
A bag of walnuts.
A bag of slivered almonds. This is key.
Other optional ingredients:
- A small bags of trail mix, ideally the kind that includes a few M&Ms.
- Some chocolate-covered espresso beans.
- 2 tablespoons sesame seeds.
- A tablespoon poppy seeds.
- 1/4 cup oatmeal.
- Anything else you have on hand that you think would be good.

Directions:

Put the butter in the biggest bowl you have and wait for it to soften. If you're impatient or in a hurry you can melt it to speed up the process, but this makes it harder to work with.

While you're waiting for the butter to soften, combine all the dry ingredients in a separate bowl. It should also be pretty big but doesn't need to be as big as the other bowl (the one that has the butter in it). Mix it all up pretty good. I add them roughly in the order they appear above and mix them with a fork after each ingredient, but that's probably more thorough than is strictly necessary.

Check to see if the butter is soft yet. When it's soft, add the wet ingredients in the order that they're listed, mixing thoroughly between ingredients.

After all the wet ingredients are thoroughly mixed, add the dry ingredients. Mix everything up until the dry ingredients seem to be pretty well mixed in. Try not to overbeat.

Grab smallish hunks of the dough and drop them on cookie sheets. The cookie sheets don't need to be greased or anything though feel free to do so if it makes you happy. Bake the cookies at about 350 degrees Fahrenheit (I probably should have told you to preheat the oven somewhere but I'm not sure where it'd fit) for roughly 8-10 minutes. Basically you cook them until they no longer look wet--if you cook them until they're evenly browned they'll still be OK but they won't taste as good as if you cook them until they're just barely done.

Depending on ingredients, proportions, personal taste, and probably a bunch of other factors the cookies may taste best warm out of the oven or they may taste better after being frozen. Making this determination comes with experience. They should taste really good; if they don't taste as good as you expected or hoped straight out of the oven, try freezing 'em and see if that does the trick.

Warning: If you use chocolate covered espresso beans, then be aware that if you make these cookies in the evening and do some 'sampling' (as is your right as cookie maker) the espresso beans will make you really wired and you won't be able to get to sleep for a while. Also, mistaking cookies for real food and substituting them for meals is tempting but probably not a great idea.

Disclaimer: This recipe was not purchased, stolen, or otherwise acquired from Mrs. Fields.

This was something random written by Jacob Haller. To see another random thing, click here. To get a permanent link to this particular random thing, click here.