You are in a maze of voice mail messages, all different: A Random Jacob Haller Thing

You are in a maze of voice mail messages, all different

Written 8 May 1997

I just got off the phone with Netscape tech support (1-800-320-2099). I had to re-call them a few times. The first time I called, we had the following conversation:

"Hello, and thank you for calling Netscape technical support. If you wish to save time by using our automatic problem solving system, PRESS ONE! [...]"

I pressed one.

"If you need instructions on how to use our automatic problem solving system, PRESS ONE! If not, PRESS TWO!"

I pressed two.

"If you are starting a new session with us, PRESS ONE! If you are resuming a previous session, PRESS TWO!"

I pressed one.

"Thank you. Goodbye." [click]

Redial.

Same as above until where I told it I was starting a new session. Then it said:

"To help us diagnose your problem, please tell us what computer system you are using. If you are using a computer with Windows 95, PRESS ONE! If you [. . .] If you are using a Macintosh, PRESS FOUR!"

I pressed four.

"Thank you. Goodbye." [click]

With persistance, I talked to a living person (who didn't hang up on me).

Next I called Microsoft Tech Support. After indicating that I wanted to be transferred to their automatic problem tracking system, I was put on hold. That was probably five minutes ago.

Computers. More trouble than they're worth.

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