The Dream Of Pickled Okra

Written 16 November 2002

James Bond has been CAPTURED! So I go to the castle where he's being held, along with the beautiful journalist I met up with earlier at school, where there was a sort of recital where you had to tell a riddle and sing a Peter Gabriel song. (My riddle was, "Why are sandwiches sometimes gritty? Because of the sand which is there." My Peter Gabriel song was "In Your Eyes".)

At the castle, the guards catch us, but I manage to escape. I run around and find the journalist and we make it to the exit. But there's an earthquake and the bridge that leads from the castle to the surrounding land doesn't quit reach, so we have to jump for it! We make it, but then we see that the mountain that the castle is on is actually a volcano, and that the volcano is erupting! The castle is about to be consumed in lava! The journalist and I look at each other. "We have to go back and save the others," I say, and she nods agreement.

We go through the castle and free all the prisoners, who all make it to safety. (Except I don't see James Bond anywhere for some reason.) The one problem is Ray Charles, who, being blind, can't see the volcano or anything and refuses to believe that he's in any danger. After some argument back and forth, I finally pick him up bodily and jump across the gap in the bridge. We make it across safely, and as we collapse on the other side, Ray sings a short bit of gospel-tinged scat singing: "Oh-oh-whooooah."

-jwgh

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